Ally Fogg Defends the sensitive menz against the self-righteous bullies of Tumblr and “their feminist apologists“
If it passed you by, the Tumblr scours the dating/social networking site OK Cupid for profiles of men and then posts their pictures (without permission) alongside selected quotes. The typical entry shows a less than attractive guy with a few quotes from his profile proclaiming himself a ‘nice guy’ who is fed up of being ‘friendzoned’ and then a ‘wrong’ answer from the set profile questionnaires such as “Should women feel an obligation to shave their legs? Yes.”
So what is the “friendzone”?
Here’s a description from AskMenUK which claims 20 million readers Worldwide:
But men are different. Since we aren’t saddled with psychologically crippling emotions, we aren’t burdened with the senselessness of separating friendship from sex. In fact, for us, it’s just the opposite: When a man likes a woman, he naturally wants to express his feelings between the sheets. This is natural.
Unfortunately, the female brain can’t process this logic. Instead, it quickly “either-ors” any guy it encounters. Either he’s going to be a lover or he’s going to be a friend. And once a woman has relegated you to the “friend zone,” it’s all but impossible for her to see you in any other way. Of course, she’ll still expect you to act like the lovers she’s currently sex-ploiting — by forcing you to pay for her meals and cart her around like a chauffeur — but without the fringe benefit of getting laid.
Now this sounds remarkably like many of the men whose statements find their way onto Tumblr’s “Nice Guys of OK Cupid“, about whom Ally says fully deserve “mockery and vilification”.
I think a thorough going re-education might be more appropriate 🙂
But it’s the gentle, sensitive souls whose inadequacy with women also seems to extend to their inadequacy with words and basic research, with whom Ally is really concerned and writes extensively about.
More importantly, other than Professor Hugo Schwyzer who Ally describes as a “prominent male feminist”, and Laurie Penny, who Schwyzer quotes, there’s nothing in his piece that justifies his blanket condemnation of those he calls “their feminist apologists”. So really what we have here is another piece for men who are against female equality, by a recent convert to the “what about the menz” cause.
I’ll leave you to read Ally’s article and merely observe that of the 28 people who work at the OK Cupid dating site and whose photos and notes appear on its site, (and I assume this information is not a spoof), 25 are male and only three female. Of the three women, one:
“handles social media strategy & initiatives for OkCupid and oversees community-building ventures such as OkCupid Meetups, Success Stories, and Contest events. She also makes sure the programmers never, ever run out of Pepsi”;
“often makes strange noises for fun and warmed up for high school choral concerts by imitating Pokémon. In college, she studied linguistics and East Asian languages instead of some type of engineering, so now she takes out the trash at OkCupid”;
while the third:
“spends most of her time pushing buttons. Sometimes it might be yours”.
So any shy, sensitive man who signs up to a free dating site like OK Cupid probably realised too late that there’s no such thing as a free lunch, you get what you pay for, and an organisation with such a male – female staff ratio is probably not the place for shy, sensitive men.