When satire Bites your Bum!



When satire Bites your Bum!

MizzLizProbert 6 Apr 2017 14:29  (also know as BeautifulBurnout, CalamityJane123, BuddhistBarrister, Dharmawarrior, and Labour Party official Jane Haybroek) writes:

 Authoritarians and despots since time immemorial have hidden behind the claim that the reason critical satire of them should be quashed is because it is “not funny”

The following is part of a piece of satire I posted on Comment is Free’s Ciffies 2009 awards on  6 December 2009 that following complaints from BeautifulBurnout and others resulted in Bitethehand’s banning:
I would like to say something about my mother Mrs Bitethehand’s employment as moderator on the Ciffies 2009: thread of the year yesterday when between 10:47 and 1:12am she deleted a number of my posts.

This morning I went and had a serious talk with her and after some discussion she now realises that she really did misunderstand the nature of the job and would like to issue the following statement:

1. I have told my son bitethehand that I won’t have him poking fun at that nice Mr Karamov as he’s just a confused young man trying to make sense of the world, just like bitethehand used to be. And Mr Karamov obviously knows all about climate change and Tsunamis and is quite right to say that those men running away were just going to get some boats so they could come back and rescue their wives and children.

2. Mr Chagall, my son didn’t have much of an education so when you suggested he might win a prize for his ad hominens he naturally thought you were swearing at him in Latin. So I’d like to apologise for him suggesting you were unsophisticated and hope you won’t feel too badly about it.

3. tangerinedream, isn’t that one of those new yoghurts from Asda – I do like them but that’s by the by. Now as a committed Christian I’ve told young bitethehand that while I look upon homosexuality as a carnal sin for which our good Lord will have prepared a suitable place for young Mr Gately, where he will have an eternity to mull over his prodigal ways, although unlike the young man in the New Testament parable, his going in the twinkling of an eye sadly robbed him of the opportunity to repent the foolishness of his youth. As I’ve told bitethehand so many times, “There will be weeping there, and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but you yourselves thrown out” But more than that I’m fed up with telling bitethehand that he’s heading in the same direction if he continues with his lack of respect for the dead, especially that poor Mr Gately.

4. Mr David Absalom, how nice for you to have the same family name as the most handsome man in the Bible and I know that you’re quite right to urge all our young people to keep themselves pure and unsullied until they are safe within the sanctity of a married relationship. Well done I say and as I’ve told bithethehand before, I won’t stand for his smuttiness.

5. Ms Burnout, I’ve told bitethehand it was quite wicked to say what he did about you and that poor Mrs Akhtar and particularly when you were trying to cope with your son running away from home. I’ve told bitethehand so many times how lucky he was to have a mum who stayed at home to look after him and his siblings, rather that go out to work all day and then spend half the night on the internet getting drunk. Not that we had the internet in my day of course but as a good mother yourself you’ll know what I mean. And believe me I know how difficult it is to keep these young ones on the straight and narrow, what with all that smut on the internet and the television, which is why I just can’t understand why bitethehand, when his father and I didn’t allow a television into the house until he was older than your son, who I’m so glad is back in the family fold, turned out to be such a bad sort.

6. Mr Plang – that’s another unusual name if you don’t mind me saying and I can understand what you’re saying but I can assure you that bitethehand’s vendettas have never been petty, quite the opposite, he’s always been a very serious person. I remember having to sort out a problem he had at infant’s school when they sent him home for arguing about his teacher’s misinterpretation of the parable of the Good Samaritan. Heaven knows where he picked up the words “Thatcherite lackey”, as it certainly wasn’t from his father and me, we’ve always kept politics out of our family. But I can’t agree with you that he doesn’t have a sense of humour as he does seem to laugh a lot when he’s using my computer, stopping me getting onto my Facebook, laughing away with some friends of his on something called the Untrusted. He says it’s a real bundle of laughs, and I’ve noticed that lovely Mrs Burnout’s on it too, although from what I can see there’s far too much swearing on it for my taste.

So I hope you all understand why I had to take the red pencil to some of bitethehand’s posts last night and I’ve advised him to be more kind to all those nice people at CiF in future, but you no how stubborn he can be.

Yours in Christ,

Mrs Bitethehand


%d bloggers like this: